It usually starts at the dinner table. Your child puts down the roti and says, “Mummy, Papa, I want to join the merchant navy.”
Something in your chest goes tight before you have even answered.
You ask a sensible question about fees, maybe. You nod. But the thought in your head is much smaller and much harder to say out loud: months at sea? Who will look after my child out there?
If that is where you are tonight, this one is for you. We prepare students for merchant navy entrance exams here in Dehradun, and we are not going to sell you a white uniform. Some of what follows is reassuring. Some of it is not. You deserve both.
Other parents worry about a hostel in Pune or a job in Bengaluru, places you can reach by train if something goes wrong. A ship does not work like that. There will be days when your child is in the middle of an ocean and you cannot get there, no matter how much money you have or who you know.
That is a real thing to feel. Please do not let anyone talk you out of it, and that includes a coaching institute. It is better to look at it properly.
Let us start with what usually hurts most. Officers often spend about 6 to 9 months at sea and 3 to 4 months at home in a year, though this changes with rank, ship and company. We have laid out the rank-wise picture in our guide on how many months officers stay at sea and at home.
A table cannot show you what that feels like. It means a Diwali with one plate less. A cousin’s wedding watched on a phone. A birthday call that cuts out halfway through because the signal has gone. Some years your child will miss the big days, and you will miss them too. There is no clever way around that.
There is another side to it, and we would be dishonest to leave it out. When sailors come home, they are home for weeks at a stretch. No office to rush to. Plenty of parents with office-going children never get a whole month with them. We will not pretend this evens everything out, but it is real, and it counts for something.
Most of the time, probably yes. Not always. This is one thing that has genuinely changed. Since December 2024, amendments to the Maritime Labour Convention have called for ships to provide social connectivity, which means ways to stay in touch with family such as email and messaging apps. How good that connection is still depends on the ship, the company and the flag. In the open ocean it can be patchy.
So make one small agreement before the first voyage: no reply for two days does not mean something is wrong. The ship may be far out at sea. There may be cargo work in port. Your child may simply be asleep after a long watch. Agreeing this now will save you a lot of 3 a.m. panic later.
We will not tell you nothing can go wrong. A ship means heavy machinery, rough weather and long hours, and some waters carry security risks too. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.
What you can take some comfort in is how the work is organised. Students go through pre-sea training before they sail, and a cadet is not left in charge of anything alone. They learn under senior officers, as our guide to the duties of a deck cadet explains. For a fuller answer, read is the merchant navy safe. If you are the parent of a daughter, we have also written about whether girls can join the merchant navy.
If you asked us what to watch for, we would talk less about storms and more about a quiet cabin at 2 a.m.
In a Sailors’ Society and Yale survey of more than 1,000 seafarers, around 26% said they had felt down, depressed or hopeless on several days in the previous two weeks. Among those reporting symptoms of depression, 45% had not approached anyone for help. It is a survey and not a diagnosis, but that second number should stay with you.
Our children do not always tell us. “Sab theek hai, Mummy” may be the most common untruth in any Indian family, and it travels very well by satellite.
A few small things help:
Here is the part where a parent’s suspicion is a gift. The merchant navy has real opportunity in it, and real opportunity attracts people who prey on hopeful families. Before any money leaves your account:
Then listen. Really listen. And if money is part of the conversation, as it should be, our merchant navy salary guide is an honest place to start, and this comparison with a corporate job may help too.
One day there will be an airport. You will tell them to eat on time for the fifth time, because it is the only sentence you can manage. They will roll their eyes. Then they will walk through the gate, and you will stand there a little longer than you need to.
Nothing we write can make that moment easy, and we would not trust any article that said it could. What you can do is make sure that when you let them go, you both know exactly what they are walking into.
If you would like to ask these questions in person, bring your child and bring your doubts. Talk to us at Officers Maritime Academy in Dehradun. The hard questions are the ones we would most like you to ask.
A: Officers often spend about 6 to 9 months at sea in a year, depending on rank, ship and company. Under the Maritime Labour Convention, flag states must set a maximum period of service, under 12 months, after which a seafarer is entitled to go home.
A: Often, yes. Many ships now have some internet access, but the quality depends on the ship and company, and it can drop in the open ocean. Agree in advance that a gap of a day or two is normal.
A: It can be, for a young person who is medically fit, disciplined and truly ready for long months away from family. The pay can be strong, but the separation is real. Talk it through honestly and speak to someone who is sailing now.
A: Check that the institute and course are approved by DG Shipping, verify any recruitment agency on the DG Shipping website, understand the medical requirements, and get all promises in writing. Be wary of anyone guaranteeing a job for money.
A: SeafarerHelp, run by the maritime charity ISWAN, is a free and confidential helpline open 24 hours a day for seafarers and their families. Your child’s shipping company should also give you an emergency contact, so ask for it before the first voyage.
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